Quest for The Unachievable!

Things would have been so much better if I wouldn't have moved to London...I was thinking as I was sitting on the table regretting the incidents that happened in the past week. It was all my fault and I couldn't stop blaming myself. But I always had this quench for the unachievable. From cars to women! I used to handle bookkeeping for small business for a huge firm based in Australia. I had met Grace while working there when she had come to get bookkeeping services for her firm. She was a web designer in a small firm based in Sydney.

There was something unreal about the way Grace looked. Sometimes, I felt she was a doll personified! She often came to my firm. When she spoke to me, I couldn't look beyond her blue eyes. I had to made myself realize time and again that she was a client. Every night when I laid myself to rest, I had flashes of her flawless face. I couldn't eat, drink or sleep. Being a manager, I had the contacts of all my clients. I decided that I will call her. And I did.

“Hello...” she said “Hello Grace?” I asked when I heard a husky and the most sexy voice on the earth ever! “Yes, Joshua, how are you? Good to hear from you. How are things going with the bookkeeping?” “Amm...they are good.” Words wouldn't come out of my mouth. It was as if some was grabbing my throat and stopping my voice. “Tell me then, how should I help you.” “Nothing...I had something to tell you. Would you mind meeting me at the Sydney cafe, 6pm today?” “Sure” she said. “I feel you have something very important to say.” “Oh yes, I do. See you soon.” I had no guts to talk further. Once she agreed, I cut the phone before listening to her speak further.

I left the office sharp at 5 that day and grabbed some orchids and lilies for her on my way. I reached the cafe and there she was! She was wearing a black t-shirt and blue jeans. Her curly tresses were falling on her forehead and goggles. Butterflies suddenly started creating a chaos in my stomach. Shit! These butterflies...I thought. What must they be having in their stomach when they fall in love?! “I am sorry, I kept you waiting.” I said. “Not at all, infact I reached here before time. Not your fault.” “Lets order for something first.” I said. She moved her sharp manicured fingers through the list on the menu. “A cafe latte.” she said to the waiter. “Cranberry juice for me.” I said.

We started talking. “So what was the reason behind the hush hush and rush rush meeting Mr Joshua?” she asked. I blushed as I smiled. “Look Grace, I said. I have been having some sleepless nights. Thanks to you.” “Why?” she asked. “Is there anything wrong with...” “I think I like you and ever since you've met me, I can't get over your thoughts.” “Wow! I must say I expected this. A lot of men have told me this. But unfortunately... “Try me” I said. That day, I walked her to her home. She left with a smile and peck on my cheek.

We were dating which was strict against the rules of my company. When my boss came to know about the affair through Grace's company, I was fired! Grace was fired too. We were devastated! But we loved each other and had decided to marry. After marriage I started looking for jobs. One day while I was surfing through the internet for jobs, I found a job in London which offered me quite a handsome amount and a house to live in. I spoke to the hr of the firm and she arranged for a telephonic interview in 2 days.

Grace was not ready to move. “Why are you so desperate to have better things in life Joshua?” she had asked. “Because, I think you and I deserve so much better than what we have.” “Okay.” she had agreed reluctantly. No woman could ever love me like Grace did. Though she had found a new job after she was fired and I hadn't, she never made me feel guilty. But my ego was killing me. It was me who had to provide things to my wife. I loved her too much and used to spend all day looking for jobs. The telephonic interview went well and in no time I received the invitation.

Grace resigned and we did all the packing in few days. After a few hours of flight to London. We reached at the London luton airport. My new firm had provided me with a taxi service and the driver had reached to pick us up on time. My job at a payroll bureau in Surrey was quite similar to the Australian job I had. Grace had found a job for herself in a website designing firm where she was supposed to work in a night shift. I didn't quite appreciate the idea of her working at odd hours but agreed thinking that she too, had compromised her wishes and dreams for me.

We had somehow lost the old connection. Grace used to sleep during the day and I used to be home at night so we couldn't meet. We had random fights...I didn't like her ways of cooking. She was too messy. She fought with me over the ever rising bills as I used to keep the air condition switched on for hours together and forgot to switch them off. During one of the weekends, she called for an energy assessor in Surrey and started blabbering to him about the ever rising bills and my habits. After the guy left we had a huge fight. “Do you realize what you speak? Atleast have some manners and know what to say when there is a stranger in front of you!” I exclaimed. “Joshua please don't tell me what I should and shouldn't do. All these months I have done only what you have said.” “Then go to hell! I said. Why do you live with me?!” “I will soon.” She said while crying. “I will live on a rent house and have my own house in Twickenham.” It was a horrible day indeed.

On the other hand, I was getting involved with Lucy. She was an attractive brunette and we were very good friends. She took care of me and made lovely pancakes for me. We both used to secretly like each other but didn't reveal our feelings to each other as she knew I was married. But when things are going wrong in your life and you find someone who truly understands you, you tend to get thinking.

One day while driving home I wasn't far from the office and Grace called. She started her petty fight over the phone and I lost control over the driving. I rammed my car into a tree nearby and started bleeding. As Lucy was passing by the same way, she saw me in this condition. “Oh my god! You're bleeding!” she said. “Come to my house. I live nearby. I will do the dressing for you.” “I will be fine.” I said while touching my bleeding forehead. 'I insist Joshua.” said Lucy. I went to her place. She did the dressing for me. After a long time I felt as if someone cared for me.

One thing led to another and in no time, we were feeling the warmth of each others bodies. I never thought I would start seeing someone else outside my marriage and believed that infidelity was a crime. But my marriage was no good. I thought I will find solace out of my marriage but things got worse their too. Lucy wanted to make things legal. I kept procrastinating.

One night, Lucy left her purse at my house. Grace saw the purse and figured that I was dating someone out of marriage. “How dare you even think of someone else Joshua? I trusted you. But you, turned out to be just like other men. Disloyal! ” she shouted. “Let me explain Grace, I...” “NO. Please. I am not willing to hear a thing. I am leaving from here. I have already bought a house on rent and I am not interested in you and your life.” She left as she said the last statement. I couldn't believe what was happening. I had cheated the woman I loved the most on earth...in the quest to achieve the unachievable!